Category Archives: Drawing
>Today was a rather shitty day for me, but only in my head.
Let me explain. It stems from my results at yesterday’s doctor’s appoinment, but I’m not going to bore you with that. It’s just, she mentioned that some of my symptoms are because of things that I’m thinking about, and my anxiety over the hospital in the first place. It is not my favorite place by any means, I tend to avoid going there at all costs. I don’t even visit sick friends or family because there’s just something that I don’t like about it.
There’s a death that lingers around the DECH like a dense fog, I just can’t seem to shake it, even afterwards. It’s followed me here, home to my new apartment, and my new budding relationship with the man that, yes, I seem to love very much. There is a future here, or with him, whichever comes first. But right now, my head is playing games with me.
I’ve got no drive.
Today was especially rough and horrid.
I woke up and was tired. I fell asleep probably 20 times today, with nothing to provoke it. I started to draw earlier and was bad and hated myself for it. I scrapped it. Rob made those little fake cinnamon buns from the can that he likes and I shrieked in my head. “YES! That’s what I need! A sugar boost!”
I thought that would do it, and it may very well have. But I wasn’t aware of it, you’d have to ask the chef.
All day all I’ve wanted to do was just get up and do something…to cook something, to go for a walk, to tend to my plants, to draw enough for my blog, to sit and WRITE my blog. Just something. But the day came and went, and I decided that I couldn’t because I felt like I didn’t want to.
Instead, I managed to sit a sulk, mope, and carry on about things that didn’t matter at all to my poor little brain. I even punched a chair. True story.
What started out as a rather angry post dredged from my head has actually had a rather opposite emotion and a different realization spawned into my fingertips. Tomorrow will be different.
It has to be….doesn’t it?
>I went out a little earlier to assess the damage from the rain yesterday, and all things considered, I’m a genius. Oh, and everything is fine. A tad waterlogged, but maybe it’s experience for the indoor water garden I’m planning in the Fall.
My tomatoes are about 2 feet tall now, that is, the ones I grew form seed from Chapters. They’ve actually suspiciously outgrown the Scotia I bought from my step-grandmother (?) at the market, but I suppose I can justify that by saying that I have about 4 hand full-sized tomatoes happily busting out on that baby.
I’ve got to replant pretty much every seedling that grew from my Vesey’s Seeds online overindulgence. They are ginormous…and I’m scared that the larger ones might pick on the smaller ones. Think…Veggie Tales in the locker room maybe?
I’m quite happy about the progress that my newer plants are making, my Calamodin Orange, my random tropicals, and my beloved Croton. Don’t tell the others, but that one definitely is my favorite! It came to me quite boring and green, with it’s spikey long leaves. Then after I mistakenly sunburned the little Princess (or Prince….I haven’t figured out how to work gender specific questions into a conversation with it yet), it’s decided to go full blown into verigating itself. Right now it’s green with yellow, but it’s starting to go yellow with green. Soon hopefully it will turn red… it’s so conflicted!!
BTW Rain, I won. I’ve conquered not only you, but your friend the wind. My patio is whirlygiggy once more!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
ahem.. cough cough..
Rob just looked over at me:
“What are you doing? You’re typing a lot.”
I doodled a bit earlier when I was bored, and wanted to capture the sheer glee that Rob has been getting over the strawberries, now that they’ve decided to turn sweet finally.
He’s spotted 2 this morning when I was outside, but I’m holding out for a couple more to ripen later today. I think he may be a little disappointed with the crop so far, but, though I may be all powerful, I haven’t figured out how to will my little plant to start spitting pints out at him. Wow! I’m off my game! First the Croton, and now the strawberries 😦
I sahrry 😦