Ok, so I’m not an alcoholic. I swear. One of the perks of being gay is the fact that it’s just assumed that you drink, and in my case it works. Others, not so much (enter Rob lol).
Let me clarify. I’m actually not an alkie. I just come off as being one. I don’t even remember the last time i got drunk. I like to go out to a club or a bar and I usually have a couple singles (anything with vodka). The problem with me (according to those who like to drink WAY more than me) is that I’ll go and do a little shimmy on the dancefloor, then drag someone to the bartender and do a few shots, then go and dance for pretty much EVER and forget to keep drinking.
It’s even the same at a party or such and such. I have a couple drinks and always switch with water (mainly because I HATE that drinking dry-mouth and the horrid taste you get yeck!). And then I’m that super happy chair dancer over there eating all the food, singing along with drunky in the corner.
NOW. You come to my apartment and you assume I’m an alcoholic. Perhaps not at this very moment. Perchance not in the next few weeks. But eventually you’ll come over and I’ll actually be able to drink (and therefor have actually brought my bottles over from my parents lol). Oh, I forgot to mention that I am not really allowed to drink anything while Im still in recovery, which is completely understandable, as I can’t even walk around for an extended period of time without wanting to pay someone to dig me a little hole to crawl into and die, as I can’t dig for very long either I assume.
RAMBLE RAMBLE RAMBLE
Where was I? I think somewhere around you’d think I drink a lot when you come over (you will visit…won’t you? I’m going insane by myself!!)? Well, see, I’ve got the tools. I’ve got the booze. Hell, I’ve even got the tea-trolley-converted-into-a-rolling-bar and the turn-of-the-century-radio-turned-into-a-cupboard-turned-into-a-glass-caddy. AND I’ve got that little shot book you bought at that random store that one time because it’s got something in it called a Horny Bee.
So come over. I’ve got the bubbly, and I’ve got the red disco-balled shaker. But I’m shit at a playlist, so that’s your job :p